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Toxic relationships can be very difficult to deal with. When there’s a toxic relevance in our lives, we can usually drop it like a bad habit and never have to worry about it again. But what about our family members that we see time and time again? Do you just stop being a family? Expectedly, this isn’t the case, but sometimes regardless of the circumstance, you need to cut out toxic people from your life when it comes to a matter of your own mental and physical wellness or even your safety! Here are 8 ways to deal with toxic family members
Ways To Deal With Toxic People
1. Surround Yourself With Positive People
If you do have to tolerate that one Negative Nancy you have in your family, it’s far easier to do this when you surround yourself with more positive people in your daily life. Stick to your happier cousins, sisters, or whoever it is at family gatherings that bring you joy. Just stay away from negative people in general. It's true when they say that like attracts like - it’s called the law of attraction.
The law of attraction states that If someone is constantly thinking negatively and complaining about everything in their lives, they will attract that negative energy back towards them. And when you hang around people like that, their energy naturally rubs off on you. That's why it is extremely important to be around people who have positive energy and a positive outlook on life.
Their energy will naturally rub off on you, and you will start to feel more positive and energetic about your life. Don't let negative people - especially negative family members - bring you down. If you notice that you have a particularly negative family member in your life, try to get them to be a bit more positive. If that seems like an impossible task, try to bring your positive energy into the relationship.
2. Don’t Neglect Yourself
Sometimes we have that one relative who does their best to make us feel ignored or wish we weren’t there. Great! The feeling is mutual! Do yourself a favor and pamper yourself. You have needs too, and this doesn’t mean that this toxic person gets to have control over you. You do you. Don’t care about anything else. Self-care is extremely important, and unfortunately, it is something that many people don't tend to incorporate into their lives.
If you are having a particularly bad experience with a toxic relationship or toxic family members in your life, take a moment for yourself. Go to the spa, go for a hike, take a nice long bath, read a book - do whatever you find helps you relax and stay focused. This will help you re-energize yourself and recharge your batteries and will help ground you. If you are stressed out, this is a great way to get your mind off of all the stress you are experiencing.
3. Stand Up For Yourself
if you’re wondering how to deal with negative people, you should follow this tip. Everyone is allowed their own opinion, but that doesn’t mean you have to take it. Are you gay and do you have religious relatives that disapprove? Are you unemployed and seeking a job you enjoy, but this doesn’t look too good with your Stepfather? Are you dating someone that you’re madly in love with, but your crazy uncle seems to dislike?
Does your Aunt hate what you’re wearing? So what! You don’t owe these toxic people any explanations or apologies for you being yourself. If anyone gives you any guff, stand your ground. It’ll be far more enjoyable for you to be proud of yourself, instead of apologizing hoping not to hurt anyone’s feelings. Never be ashamed or afraid to stand up for yourself! Just like self-care is extremely important, so is standing up for yourself.
You are the most important person in your life, and never forget that! Never let anyone walk all over you or try to make themselves seem better or bigger than you. If someone in your life - especially a family member - tends to walk all over you and belittle you - stand up for yourself! you won't regret it. It will empower you and most likely make you feel better about yourself!
4. Forgive But Don’t Forget
Sometimes toxic family members can do and say things that are extremely hurtful without them even realizing it. Instead of letting this anger you, or letting your feelings fester inside, immediately choose to forgive them, but never forget how they make you feel. When the time comes, perhaps you can explain to them what they’ve done to hurt you, but it’s best to let things go and enjoy yourself. Try not to dwell on something that someone did to you.
Not Being Able to forgive someone means that you are getting what they did to you to take over you. Forgiving doesn't mean that what that person did is okay - forgiving is a way for you to come to terms and be at peace with what happened. It allows you to let go of the anger and resentment you have and finally move on. Forgiveness isn't about the other person - it's about you. So it's always better to just move on with your life and forgive and forget.
5. Do Something For Yourself
A great way to show your toxic relatives that you no longer care for their behavior is to do something for yourself instead. We aren’t suggesting you avoid every social or family gathering, but rather, you prioritize your own time and desires. Perhaps a tropical vacation away from family is all you need for them to realize how much they miss you?
Or, make it clear that you have other things to worry about then give them your devoted time and attention. Make a classic entrance, then leave when you feel like it for other plans. Just like self-care is extremely important, so is doing things for yourself - whether it be treating yourself to a gift or a nice meal - do whatever makes you feel happy!
6. You Win More Bees With Honey
Chances are if you feel a certain way about a family member, others feel the same way as you. Kill them with kindness. Don’t let any negativity or hostility win over you. Others will see your patience and understanding and appreciate you for it. Nobody likes a fight and perhaps someone well-intentioned could purify even the most toxic of people.
7. Focus On Those You Love
If you’re fearful about spending time with a certain relative, think instead about spending time with the relatives that you truly want to see. Just because your Aunt is a miserable bag of blah doesn’t mean your cousins are. Chances are they’re looking for an escape from her too. Plan a special family gathering with those you DO care about! Now that you know the best ways to deal with toxic family members, here is the number one thing you should do when dealing with a toxic relationship:
8. When In Doubt, Cut Them Out
It’s an unfortunate reality that sometimes we have to cut out those toxic people who are toxic to us, even if that means cutting out our very family. At the end of the day, your well-being is most important. If your relative’s toxic behaviors are unsafe for you or your loved ones, perhaps it’s time to get the authorities involved. Maybe excluding a certain relative from your life will help them prioritize what’s important to them being a miserable toxic person or being a positive loving role model.
All in all, you’re the one that matters in this, so follow your heart as to what brings you joy. Remember the law of attraction - sometimes you just have to eliminate negative energy from your life to bring more positive energy towards you. So if you’re wondering how to deal with toxic people or how to deal with negative people, eliminate those negative people in your life who may be bringing you down!
